Lions head coach Dan Campbell to his players: ‘I’m not gonna wipe your butt’

It is that time of month for the latest Dan Campbell quote.

Campbell has been something of a walking coach speak machine since getting the head coaching gig with the Lions, and that’s not something that’s going to slow down any time soon, seemingly.

From Campbell’s first press conference (in which he said the team plans to bite kneecaps) to his desire to have an actual, living, breathing lion at training camp, Campbell has always been good for an interesting one-liner since his hiring in Detroit.

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On Friday, a new Campbell quote surfaced, and it’s a  doozy:

“I told them, honestly, Day 1, I said, ‘Look, I’m not carrying your toilet paper around. I’m not gonna wipe your butt. You’re gonna wipe your own butt. You handle it and I’ll treat you like men until you prove otherwise,'” Campbell said (via’s Mike Silver).

Really, it’s just a more adult (adult?) way for Campbell to say “I’m not going to hold your hand” or “babysit you,” which are much more common and socially acceptable than any kind of poop situation happening here.

Campbell’s personality is a complete 180 from the stoic, boring and gruff Matt Patricia, who was fired midway through the 2020 season. Detroit faithful can only hope that the on-field performance follows that pattern.

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